Thinking Without Limits

Autumn is officially here!! Although the first day of Autumn was warmer than the last day of Summer. But this week it's nice and cool. I loooove the fall! Yesterday we decorated the house in a gorgeous array of colors with leaves and pumpkins and such. It was pretty wonderful.

I'm preparing to go back to school next semester. The only downfall is that it's difficult for part-time students to get financial aid. But at least it'll be about half the price. I've really enjoyed this time off though. It's really helped me to allow God to place some things in my life. To find more pieces to my puzzle. :)

I'm dropping music altogether, though. Honestly, I just want to sing. And I don't need a degree to sing if I don't plan on doing professional opera or anything. So to replace my music minor I have Sociology. Which, lucky for me, Theology, Sociology, and Leadership share a lot of the same classes. And I think the collaboration of the three of these will be much more enjoyable than the last.

In other news, I'm in three weddings next Spring/Summer! April, May, and...July. I get June off I guess. :) The funny thing is, in all of them I'm wearing different shades of blue. And as much as I hate to plan my wedding before I even know who my future husband is, I've concluded that blue will not be one of the colors in our wedding. haha But wow...I can't even believe how many people have been getting engaged just in the past two months! Everyone's growing up so fast. I wish they'd wait for me.

Anyway, I'm going to go paint. Yes. Paint. :) I decided that since I cannot yet afford my camera, I will create images with my own two hands. One of these days, though!

Captivated

I love the rain. It's so refreshing. Today was a lovely rainy day of about 68-73 degrees tops. I don't know why, but it made me so happy. If I didn't have to work all day, I would've curled up with a book and some tea and read all day. But today was wonderful nonetheless. Today I saw four of my friends from school come into work.

Then after I got off, Jerilynn told me she was back too and wanted to go out to dinner. So we met up with Janae at Culver's and chatted for at least two hours. I love girl talk. And not the vicious gossipy girl talk. The fellowship of femininity and all the joys that flow from it. I'm so blessed to have the friends that I do. I told Jerilynn how it's like a completely different place here without them. My friends are a huge part of what makes this place feel like home. I feel like my surroundings are transforming before my eyes with each friend that returns. Even though I haven't gone any new distance than what I normally do.

It's pieces that were missing from my puzzle that are being placed back into their rightful spots.

I feel like I'm being pursued. And not by some brave, handsome knight on a noble white steed. But by my heavenly prince, who loves me more than I could ever hope to comprehend. how could I forget all the wonderful things he's done? He never changes. I change. And sometimes I become blinded by the things of this world.

But my Prince is always there to rescue me and open my eyes once again. How can I run from someone so faithful and true? I feel like Solomon's bride, constantly running away from him as he continuously calls for me to come home to him. But I get distracted by the world.

But eventually, I always find my way back to my precious Jesus. And I wonder how I became separated from Him in the first place.

And yet, He loves me anyway. Unconditionally. Faithfully. And willingly.

"If you judge people, you don't have time to love them"

Why is it that we so often choose to look for the worst in others rather than the best? It doesn't leave them much room to exceed our expectations. When we expect the worst from a person, it's likely that's all we'll see from them, because we don't allow them to give us anything better or allow ourselves to see anything better.

If we could spend more time searching for the best in each other, we open the door for encouragement and growth. And we'd finally stop setting each other up for failure.

God did not send Jesus to die on the cross for us to judge and shun one another. He loves us as the sinners that we are. We weren't placed on the earth to be hopeless creatures lost for all eternity. We were created by God, in His image, to serve Him. And who are we to tell God that His creation isn't good enough? If it were me, I would be so terribly offended. Especially if it were my most treasured masterpiece.

~~~~~~~~~~

Update:

Packed up and moved out Thursday morning. I'm staying at my friend Jenna's while she's out of town until Monday. The apartments didn't tell us until Thursday (you know..the last day of the month) that they don't allow more than 3 unrelated persons to live in one apartment at once.

So I'm not sure what I'm going to do after Monday, but I just need somewhere to go until 2 of the girls move out at the end of the month when school starts back up and hopefully move into the apartments.

Tangent:

I applied for an auto loan yesterday. My brother is helping me find a decent car that isn't about to self destruct like the one I have. Then maybe I'd feel safe enough to drive it home so I can visit my family every once in a while. Yes, I realize there are things called planes...but I hate flying. Even though I've done it a billion times, I think it's still my biggest fear. I don't feel near as much anxiety in any other situation.

End Tangent.


I can't wait until the day I can finally find a place I can really call home. And it actually feels like a home. You know...the kind where you're actually wanted there.

And Tristen says that she believes for me. I'm so lucky to have the friends that I do. I purchased a few new scrapbooking supplies yesterday. One was this pad of rub-on quotes about friendship, and there's this one quote that I just love...because it seems to ring so incredibly true:

A friend is someone
who knows the song in your heart,
and can sing it back to you
when you have forgotten the words.

And a song that's an old favorite of mine and several of my friends began playing in my car Thursday on my way to work when I was feeling incredibly disheartened and exhausted. It reminded me that there is a God who's in control and loves me even when love seems so distant from me. A God who understands more than I ever could. A God who is eternally faithful regardless of how flawed I may be or how I stop believing in myself or how lost I get. A God who accepts my weaknesses just as much as He accepts my strengths.

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

Great is thy faithfulness, Oh God my father
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me.

Could You Look At Me With Some Imagination?

When there's nothing to believe in, I believe in you
Forget the past and let my hand in yours be the proof
Though the strong could be my company, you're the one I choose
So remember, I believe in you

I know it feels like every eye is watching you
Waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose
But I see victory, so all you have to do
Is remember, I believe in you

I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you

There will come a day when love will lift you out of here
There will come a day when love will bring the truth
There will come a day when love will free you from your fear
And you'll remember, I believe in you

I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you


My vision seems so clouded. By what, I'm not entirely sure. That's not true...I think deep down I know that the enemy is attacking me from every side. And it has caused me to at some point down this road slide back into the trap of working to please others. Working so hard just so I can be deemed adequate by others. Instead of working only to please my heavenly father.

I think between the attacks and stings of the enemy I finally feel weak and defeated.

"I think you are stronger and wiser than you used to be. You just don't see it. Don't give up! God keeps his promises and he wants to give you an extraordinary life to the full!"

There is so much that I don't understand, but so desperately wish I did.

How I want to trust God and allow Him to love me. But the longer time goes by, the less I think I know what love even is.


You shake your head
What is so hard to believe?
When you are in your bed
I sing over you the sweetest things

Because oh, my love does not tire
I'm awake when the moon is full
And I know the times when you feel lost
And you just aren't sure

Lo and behold
My love hasn't grown cold
For you

You could steal away in the middle of the night
And hide in the light of day
While you cloak yourself in the darkest lies

But oh my love, it swims in the deepest oceans of fear
And as soon as you lower your head
I am here

Lo and behold
My love hasn't grown cold
For you

If only you could see
How heaven stills when you speak
I know all your days
And I have wrapped you in mystery

And oh, my love for you
Is as wide as the galaxies
Just hold out your hand and close your eyes
And come be with me

Lo and behold
My love hasn't grown cold
For you

Psalm 27:13-14

"Yet I am confident I will see
the Lord's goodness while I am
here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."


I'm moving out...it's a long story...but I could use some prayer that everything goes smoothly.

And perhaps a little encouragement as well.

Thanks. :)


“Be completely humble and gentle;
be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:2